Gifting program for unemployed this holiday season
2009 November 10
If you’re unemployed, I’m sure that most of your friends and family won’t be expecting a gift from you this holiday season, but if you’re worried about this happening, then below are some ideas to help you tell them where they can go this holiday season. Damn…it’s a real bummer that the State of Washington doesn’t give holiday bonuses..ha!
1. Send them a card that says one of the following:
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“Got job? Buy yourself something nice from me this holiday season.” Then ask them to send you a “thank you” card expressing their gratitude for your generousity considering the circumstances.
- Tell them you made a donation in their name to the Human Fund.
- Ask them for donations to “The Keri [or insert your name here] Fund.” To really tug at the heartstrings, be sure to include a photo of you looking extremely pathetic.
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If they can’t give you money, ask for airline mile donations to support your cause.
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And if someone is a real jerk-face, then their card should read: “Happy holidays you job-holding prick.”
2. If they really expect a gift, below are some ideas:
- Re-gift! Send them something that’s been collecting dust in your house.
- If you can’t find anything in your house, check out Kashless.org to see what other people are giving away for free.
- A gift of coal inside a stocking is always fun.
- Make your own Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo using Tootsie Rolls! I got a homemade Mr. Hankey one year from a cousin and laughed my ass off!
- If someone is a real dirt-bag, send them real poo disguised as Almond Roca. I have some top shelf cat shit for sale from Louis Feline the III for $0.99 a log! What a bargain!
Excellent! I was searching for Homemade Christmas Gifts, Cheap Christmas gifts to make etc today and found http://christmas.organizedhome.com/poop-gifts/reindeer-poop and http://christmas.organizedhome.com/poop-gifts/snowman-poop. Recipes for “poop gifts” for all holidays! The reindeer poop is milk duds in a ziplock bag with a cute tag you can print out and the snowman poop is marshmallow in a ziplock with it’s own cute tag, too. Somehow I don’t think my sister-in-law is going to appreciate this gift, but, oh well.
Top shelf cat poo? Really? Don’t tempt me, Keri!
Thank you for making me laugh! I’ve been fretting over what to give people for the holidays. I was going to make some craft gifts but I’m not exactly a “crafter”! Most of my family/friends will understand but this will be my first Xmas unemployed in my adult life (u/e since June 09).
Your idea about the Human Fund cracked me up: My whole family are Seinfeld lovers and would appreciate that.
Terrific! The Senate’s latest change to the extension of Unemployment rules, changed the existing tiers of benefits. I was entitled to 20 more weeks, BUT, because mine ends first week of January……I lost it! Great! Can NOT find a job, and lately, there’s nothing to even apply for! Very discouraging